I am proud to be one of the contributors in this very important piece for the attraction industry. Some serious bright lights herein.
Congratulations Nate on taking on such a massive project – I have included my part just below the link etc.
Let’s have a look at the good, the bad and the down right horrific, shall we?
If you have read Ken Hoinsky’s Reddit post do you honestly believe the guide promotes rape? If so, please specify which part. (Note: the quotes the media criticized the most are located in Section 7 entitled “Physical Escalation & Sex”)
Well yes, AND no. There is some serious mismanagement of wording in the text that can be misconstrued by the licentious or emotionally immature as being a permissive green light depending on the eye of the beholder. When writing on a subject as fragile as this, there is a karmic responsibility in crafting what you are seeking to convey, which I sense Mr. Above the Game is unable to do.
He touched briefly on the concept of assumption; or to use the marketing term, "Assuming the Sale ", which is taught by some teachers in the industry and can be highly misunderstood, especially when the man is unable to read the differential cues between a female testing him, and a strong no means NO response.
For Example: "Even when a girl rejects your advances, she KNOWS that you desire her. That's hot. It arouses her physically and psychologically."
This is the sort of disinformation that is being paraded off as knowledge that gets so many into trouble and whoops, thrown into jail. There is nothing women dislike more than interacting with a man who is not reading their cues of disinterest, and who continues escalation, as if they were a blow up doll, when they do not have enough mutual attraction between them yet to do so. And no...that's not, "hot".
Give a summary of your personal view of the Pick Up Community, the good, the bad and the ugly. Try and word it in a way that would be a reply to the most common stereotypes aimed at it.
I'm all about radical honesty here. Let's get honest shall we? REAL honest.
As a two-time award-winning female coach working with over eleven companies within the attraction community for almost six years now, including teaching in the boot camps, the conferences and working deeply with every level of emotional maturity as clientele, I will say this:
I have been in the room when the lines of consent were extremely blurry.
I have been in the room when a guy who's trying to game the audience into believing that he's a stud muffin alpha extraordinaire who can get the chicks, shows a video of himself having sex with several women, many who I guarantee you didn't sign a waiver of consent or even knew they were being filmed.
I have been in the room when megalomaniacs are pontificating about how much they love getting "Broken women" and how they can teach this to you, act now for only a small fee and a dash of some serious karma. Welcome to the blind leading the blind. Sigh.
I have been in the clubs when dubious "gurus" have filmed imitation videos in attempts to prove their seduction prowess.
I, and many that I know, (and you do too), have been on the heart breaking brutal receiving end of so much of the lower level misogynist animal training techniques which yes, truly IS taught from the underbelly of this industry and have had to deeply heal from these eviscerating experiences.
I have almost left this industry several times because of these instances and more, but then that is telling only half of the story.
I, and many that I know (and you do too), have also been on the receiving end of so much of what has been responsibly and carefully taught to truly amazing men who deserve to find love, in turn entering into deep heartfelt relationships with truly amazing women, helping all of us to have the courage to step beyond our often strict indoctrinations and early childhood programming.
Here's the secret m'dears: We WANT you to win. There are actual tools to do this, and yes in an authentic non creepy conniving way, while on the journey of also becoming the kind of quality man a quality woman would actually be excited to date (Well now THERE'S a concept!), and THIS is what we are now seeing show up in our world. We are in a time when the attraction industry is evolving into something really quite exciting; it's just that this isn't what grabs the headlines; it's the lowest common denominators from within our business that does.
I know of many men AND women who either thru my coaching or other's assistance are now happily married, in long term relationships, or have changed their inner and outer lives for the better with greater wisdom, health, love and abundance by going through this process, and it IS a process. The damage comes when the public tars the whole industry as a seedy school for control or manipulation, when there are no absolutes, and both sexes lose by these assumptive judgments. The attraction industry is ALSO about empowerment of both sexes to honest expression, play, rapport and confidence, enlightenment through the healing of polarities, social savviness, and knowing how to give that bit of chemistry an extra little zing.
I realized that when people like me, who I believe are in this industry for the right altruistic reasons, do our part and show up, then we ALL win. I spend the first 20 minutes of my lectures going into why responsible pickup is the key (bet you didn't know there was such a thing, eh? Like I alluded earlier, "Karma's only a bitch if you are.") and focus deeply on dropping the smoke and mirrors and learn to express from the place of wholeness, non neediness, worth and inner power.
There is some serious misinformation being touted about from those who simply don't know any better, actually aren't even really known within the industry or are operating from their delusional psychosis. The world of attraction has brilliant teachers, who actually love effecting change for all involved, Vs. the vampiric egotistic narcissism that also rears it's head in this community, steadfast on the drive for opportunistic fame to feed the endless black hole of seeking validation and addiction. It looks a bit like a microcosmic gamut of what humanity is up to these days, eh? All levels, all shapes and sizes and creatures that go bump in the night, from the frayed and fractionated to the sagacious and celestial, we've got 'em!
I will finish with this: I am not a feminist; I am a unionist. It is time to heal the massive wounds between the sexes and seek homeostasis. Nourishing one pole while starving the other is asking for continued imbalance and pain for both sides. The lower levels of the attraction industry are stuck in seeing the opposite sex as "targets" or objectified opponents as if we are the pit bosses of a video game in the endless quest to heal a person's deep psychological issues of self worth. In truth, our beloveds that show up within our lives are meant, in fact, to be cherished, protected and honored allies playing ALONG SIDE US as we all seek to play TOGETHER the only game that actually matters; the game of a truly authentic life. Make your choice and thus your fate: Parasitism or Symbiosis?
We're grown ups now, let's step it up and shake it out, shall we?
Can you grok it?
The world of pickup has and is evolving. What doesn't evolve with us, will be left in the dust as we seek to navigate and heal the ravine between the poles in the quest for true communion and relationship vs. false intimacy and manipulative "seduction". The key, as we traverse this road is to walk with greater and more precise levels of gnosis, compassion and discernment. I am deeply proud to be assisting in this process traveling this path with my brothers, AND sisters.
"Love, love is a verb. Love is a DOING word, fearless on my breath." - Teardrop by Massive Attack
If your answer to the last question included some positive things, what would you say are some convincing reasons for outsiders (the media, feminist critics, etc.) to care what we in the Pick Up Community have to say?
Don't knock it before you try it. Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Do your research and look carefully into the reputations of each teacher and wanna be guru, read the comments on the articles, blogs or forums and you will find your way.
In a male dominated industry of pickup artists, Elizabeth Everett (aka “Delphim”) is a rare female coach and teacher in the art of inner game and magnetism. Awarded twice, from two separate areas of the industry, "Best Female Coach of 2012
", having worked for several years with some of the greatest pick up companies and gurus and pulling from unique areas of information, Elizabeth is a high priestess with a lifetime lineage of shamanic work and initiation within the occult bringing fresh perspective and understanding. Elizabeth has a mastery certification in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, is certified in Hypnotherapy, and has over ten years of extensive Chinese Herbalism training and counseling experience. You may find her website here: www.esotericattraction.com
And lastly, you may read up on her amazing talents as a successful singer/songwriter here: www.elizabethegan.com